The night before we left for Arizona I barely slept. Ron had spent the earlier part of the evening imagining different scenarios of Courtney changing her mind and refusing to go. What would I do, he asked, if once in the airport Courtney refused to get on the plane. I assured him that if we got Courtney to the airport she would board the plane. Then he would ask - for about 15 times - what would we do if she refuses to go when we pick her up in the morning. I tried to assure him by telling him she had been busy packing and we had discussions on what she should take. What if Dopey convinced her not to go, he asked over and over and over.
Our plane did not leave until 11:55 a.m. and Ron would take us to the airport before work. It had been decided that we would pick up Courtney at 7:30 so we could go out to breakfast and then pick up her medication at the pharmacy and have time for Courtney to say good-bye to Roxie. When we arrived at Courtney's apartment she was up and ready to go. Ron rapidly took her luggage down the three flights of stairs to the car and I helped with the smaller bags. She seemed more sober than not; I figured she was probably up all night. I thought she might have something stashed for her anxiety, but I never said a thing. We went directly to McDonalds for breakfast. Ron and Courtney thought the food was sooo good and I thought I might throw up. Ron finally seemed to be relaxing a little more. When Courtney went out to smoke while we finished our coffee he commented that he thought she might really go now.
After breakfast we went home so Courtney could see Roxie one last time. A 12 year old dog with heart problems might not be here when she came home but we tried to stay upbeat. I assured her that Roxie was doing well and reminded her that no one had expected her to be alive past the age of three. Roxie was doing quite well for a dog her age - no problems with hearing or eyesight and she still liked to play tug-of-war. Her main problem at this point was her arthritis which caused her to limp and have a difficult time getting up after a nap. Courtney was concerned that Roxie would not get enough attention and again I assured her that we all would give Roxie all the attention any dog could want.
We arrived at the pharmacy shortly after it opened and retrieved Courtney's medications. George and Jessica were there and came out to the car to say good-bye to Courtney and give her a hug. I was a little surprised to hear Courtney tell Jessica that she loved her. Ron was very anxious to get Courtney back in the car so he could start driving. The ride to the airport was only 20 minutes since the traffic was light after rush hour (and Ron was speeding) and Courtney seemed to be in a good mood. At the airport Ron said his goodbyes quickly, giving us a hug and telling Courtney that he loved her and would be up to see her in about a month. I think he really believed that she might jump back in the car and refuse to get out. But she wanted to smoke, so after Ron pulled away we pulled our luggage closer to the entrance then she lit up her first cigarette. Since we were early enough she immediately had a second cigarette. For a Friday morning there were not that many people at the airport so I was not concerned about it taking a long to get our baggage checked or going through security.
By the time we arrived at our gate we had over 30 minutes to wait to board our plane. Courtney looked like she might fall asleep at any minute and I had to get some coffee. Fortunately our flight was direct so we would be in Phoenix in a couple of hours and we could both take a nap. Courtney loves flying so she stayed awake for the first half hour and enjoyed the ride. I was so relieved to finally be on the plane and in the air and I knew Ron's blood pressure must be down by now. We had been the first to board and on Southwest you select your seat when you board so Courtney took a seat in the first row by the window. I really couldn't sleep so I read.
A few minutes before we landed I woke Courtney up. She seemed groggy but I thought once we were off the plane she would perk up. I was wrong. It was almost like being with a drunk. The first thing she wanted to do was go to the ladies room, of course, then stop and get a bottle of water, then go in a few shops along the way, then finally go to find our luggage. The Phoenix airport has people who stand by all the luggage carasels to help anyone who needs it and since our luggage was no where to be found, we needed help. We were directed to the Southwest office and spent 20 minutes in line to report our missing luggage. As it turns out, they had pulled the luggage off that had not been immediately picked up and we found our bags among a few others a short distance from the carosels.
Out the exit to go to the shuttles to rental cars we were hit with heat over 100 degrees. Not being used to that kind of heat made it a little stiffling at first. Courtney cussed. As soon as we arrived at the rental car center she sat outside and smoked two cigarettes and cussed. Then we went in to get our rental car and Courtney just had to sit down again and she cussed some more. I left here there and went to the Enterprise counter to complete paperwork and hand them my credit card. I went back to Courtney and coaxed her up and she started walking very, very, very slowly (again cussing). Then she would want to sit down again, but there was no where for her to sit so she cussed. It was like being with a drunk. We had to go down an elevator to the garage where she fortunately found somewhere to sit and we were both given a bottle of water while I picked out the van I would be driving for a few days. I just wanted to hurry and get her in the van before she passed out.
Once we were given some directions to the main highway and I had my GPS set, we were off to Flagstaff for three nights. The scenery between Phoenix and Flagstaff was incredible, going from dessert to a much higher elevation gave us a changing landscape to look at. Courtney had quickly fallen back asleep after we were out of the downtown area. I would try a couple of times to wake her up to make her look out the window, but as it turns out she never remembered it. About midway I found a shopping center that had a Chili's Restaurant where we stopped for lunch. Courtney seemed to sober up at the prospect of food. I had a chicken salad and Courtney had a chicken sandwich. She smoked outside while waiting for our order then after we ate she smoked two more cigarettes before we resumed our drive. Courtney immediately fell back asleep so I just enjoyed the drive by myself. I was starting to relax . . . a little.
Flagstaff is a small enough town that it is easy to find one's way around. Having a GPS makes it even easier and I quickly found the Hampton Inn where I had reserved a two room suite. With two 28 inch flat screen televisions and a full kitchenette, Courtney could have as much privacy as she needed. The bedroom had two queen sized beds and a sofa bed in the living room. Carol, an old friend of ours, was arriving tomorrow to spend a night or two and there was plenty of room for the three of us. She had moved to Arizona a few years ago had not seen Carol since and we were really looking forward her visit. Additionally, with Carol's personality she could diffuse any tension that might arise between Courtney and me. As far as I was concerned she could not arrive soon enough.
Any concerns I had about Courtney's mood swings were gradually fading. The first thing she really wanted to do was to take a nap, then we would go over to Kohl's for some last minute shopping, then dinner. She was looking forward to shopping and I knew that would always keep her in a good mood. When worse comes to worse I can always entice Courtney with shopping. Cooler weather in Flagstaff was a welcomed relief after the blast of heat we were hit with in Phoenix. As the sun set it was quickly becoming cooler and I was going to need a light jacket or long sleeved shirt so I was going to have to shop for myself also. As stressed as I was while packing it's no wonder I didn't forget more.
After checking my email and calling Ron to let him know we were at the hotel, I realized how tired I was and decided to take a nap too. I watched t.v. and dozed a little for a couple of hours before waking Courtney. I got directions for the half mile drive to Kohl's while Courtney smoked a couple of cigarettes. Our shopping trip was successful - after an hour of looking through racks and trying things on, Courtney found several shirts and bought more socks and I found a jacket. We left a few minutes before they closed the store and drove to Denny's for dinner. Courtney had been craving blue berry pancakes and I was happy to indulge her - anything to keep her in a good mood. She actually seemed sober tonight. I had pancakes also since I just couldn't handle any thing else on the menu - it all seemed so greasy. What is it about stress that makes me crave carbs? After dinner we drove to the gas station next to the restaurant so Courtney could buy more cigarettes and look at souvenier key chains. I bought her two packs of Camels and a keychain for her and one for Jessica and two bottles of water. We both just wanted to get back to our room and go to bed and watch t.v. and Courtney asked to use my phone to call a "couple of friends before I go to bed." I was sure one friend was Dopey.
Saturday morning we slept in. Carol called and she was due to arrive about 1:30 so we would have a late lunch. I had been vaguely aware during the night that Courtney had gotten up and gone outside to smoke so I let her sleep in as long as she wanted. I wanted her rested and sober before I left her at the halfway house. Courtney was looking forward to seeing Carol so it wasn't hard for her to get out of bed at a reasonable hour. I had gone to the free breakfast and brought back muffins and coffee so Courtney could eat in the room.
After a few wrong turns trying to find our hotel, Carol finally arrived. She looked EXACTLY like she did the last time we saw her. Courtney was very happy to see Carol and that kept her in a good mood. After putting Carol's luggage (which was a pillow case) in our room we first tried to get in to Olive Garden for lunch, but were put off by a 30 minute wait. Next to the Olive Garden was a Red Lobster so we walked over there and were immediately seated. After ordering, Courtney went outside to smoke a couple of cigarettes, which gave Carol and me an opportunity to talk and I filled her in on more details of what had transpired the last few weeks.
We decided it was early enough that after lunch we would drive down to Sedona for the afternoon. Carol knew the scenic route which was about 25 miles on a two lane, winding road and it was beautiful. Outside of Flagstaff we drove by a wooded campground that Carol had stayed at before. Another few miles and the beautiful red rock began to appear. We had never seen anything like this when we had traveled in Colorado and Courtney was impressed. I handed her my camera and she started taking pictures. We entered Sedona and were immediately in the tourist shopping district. I quickly found a parking place and we were ready to shop - after Courtney smoked again, of course.
I immediately decided I loved Sedona. We seemed to be surrounded in the distance by red rock mountains. I was taking a picture or two every ten minutes. Carol said the sunsets were stunning but since it was cloudy today we might not see a typical sunset. Just our luck. We took our time going through the shops. Most of them were expensive but there were a number of shops with surprisingly reasonable prices. I bought necklaces for Courtney and Jessica and a pair of earrings and sunglasses for me. The temperature in Sedona was perfect which made walking to the shops enjoyable. We settled on Mexican food for dinner and walked over to the Oaxaco restaurant. We ordered Margaritas and I don't remember what we ate for dinner.
Sunday morning Carol had to return home to take care of her dog and cat. I really hated to see her go because it seemed that Courtney was sober the entire time we were with Carol. That afternoon Courtney and I took off for a mall because Courtney was obsessed with getting another piercing in her ear. She had wanted a barbell in her ear but fortunately the only place where she could get a piercing did not do barbells. So she settled on getting a regular third hole. There was a Ruby Tuesdays at the mall so we stopped there for lunch where we had our favorite spinich dip and salad bar.
After leaving the mall we headed for old downtown and walked around going into several stores. At a hiking shop she found some very comfortable sandles and a purse she could wear across her shoulder - she had wanted one for when she rode the bus. We went back to hang out at the hotel for a while before heading to Target where I spent over $300 for odds and ends Courtney would need at the halfway house. We wound up at IHOP for dinner and Courtney finally got her blueberry pancakes. All in all we had a good day, although in the evening when she went out to smoke she would borrow my phone and call Dopey.
Monday morning we checked out by 11 a.m., gassed up the van and started back to Mesa. This time Courtney was awake to enjoy the scenery; she was mezmerized by the cactus. I shouldn't have been surprised since it was the first time she had ever seen one. We stopped only once at a McDonalds so I could get coffee and a yogurt parfait and Courtney got fries and diet coke. The traffic was light so we made good time getting to the hotel. After checking in at the Hampton Inn I immediately started doing laundry and we hung out at the hotel watching t.v. for the afternoon.
For dinner I took Courtney to her favorite restaurant Charleston's. The hotel had given us a coupon for a free appetizer so we choose the spinach artichoke dip. My entire family is in love with spinach dip. Courtney seemed more sober than not and during the evening we had a more in dept discussion as to why she needed to come to Arizona for so long. While discussing her last day at work with her father, I was astounded to learn that she did not remember trying to drive to the courthouse. She claimed she did not remember and was surprised to hear that she never made it to the courthouse, but made a tour of northeast Tulsa. I think she was really taken aback at some of the things I told her that she did. I believe that she was beginning to understand the severity of her problems however much she wanted to deny them.
When we were finished with dinner we headed over to Old Navy which was in the same shopping center and I bought Courtney a pair of jeans, pajama pants and several shirts. We were tired and just wanted to go back to the hotel after stopping for cigarettes. Courtney wanted to take a shower and watch t.v. and I had more laundry to do. I could see that she was getting nervous about checking in the halfway house tomorrow and I was getting nervous too.
